I know this is harsh - but if you think it, then it must be from some important place within you saying that something is wrong. Wrong in a sense that there is a problem causing you to think such idea not in a sense that I am a bad person who thinks bad things to his relatives.
So yes, like many nights tonight I think of my uncle and my grand mother's death. And only tonight on the eve of Chinese New Year I think of such thoughts and blog them completely. I may regret this but fuck it - something triggered me into such thoughts and the weird part is I'm not sympathetic about it.
You see this deal my mom had to make with her mom and younger brother had place my siblings and I to this position. We were left no choice but to stay with them for the time being. Grateful as we are we could only bear so little from the smart-ass remarks they do during dinners about how life is so complicated because of things-that-they-hate-or-they-don't-agree-with. They think highly of themselves and we have to hear every word and act as if they are right. Their way or the highway because we owe this sons-of-bitches.
Yes this is a grudge. I just hate people who act like a saint so the could get a ticket to heaven. That's so my grand mother. She tends to have her say to everything even to our personal life. One time a gay classmate of mine called me and she was able to get the call. The next minute she's accusing me of being gay because it's a sickness and I have a gay friend. I obviously wanted to punch her face right then and there. At her defense, she was only looking after me as her role as my grand mother (yes, it's her role to IMPOSE instead of give advice. It's obviously an imposition rather than an advice, I should know I'm the one who heard her). She has her way of making you feel that she is the superior being because she provided you food and shelter and she never misses a chance to remind you the blessing you have received. I hate those kinds of people - people who actually reminds you constantly that you owe them like FOREVER.
And when she can't control us no more. The bitch calls her youngest son, my uncle. The good for nothing ass who has an ego bigger than Russia. What I hate about this egotistically maniac is the fact that he talks a lot without anything to back it up. He didn't finish college, a bum for more than a decade and is only relevant when our roof needs fixing so we could save a couple of bucks. Still, he talks to us like he is this big shot person when in fact he is waiting for his mother to die so he could get his inheritance.
They talk to my sister and I in a condescending tone (8-out-of-10) as if we are about to screw our lives. In reality they are the ones who screwed their lives back when they are in our age. My grand mother got pregnant on her early life so she's fearing that my sister who is a law student would have the same fate. My grandma's a slut back then (who would have though, right?) and thinks we'll be doing the same thing. She got pregnant and had her child who's apparently been kept a secret in the family for a period of time. Tsk, tsk. In addition my uncle was a drug addict during our age - low grades, stopped schooling even ran away from home. In comparison to what we are doing, we are way beyond the point from were they where before.
I continue to live with them (till someone dies) and I assure you that I always had the last laugh. I am a conformist but I choose my battles. This isn't the right time for me but when it comes, I will strike hard and this bitches will never now what hit them. I can see myself smiling away while this two shit heads asks themselves what went wrong.
Until then bitches, kun hei far choi.