Sunday

To my grandfather Bansoy

I never gotten a chance to really know you. I only remember you as the guy who gets sick a lot and gets annoyed by the way your family treats you because of your condition. You are stubborn in seeking medical attention because you feel it's a burden for the family financially. And because of it they find you irritating most of the time and you do hear about it. As painful as it is, you are being judged by your known family because whatever you do they see you as the adopted sibling who owes them your life and for that they feel they have control over you.

I really don't know your history but I know for a fact the way you have been treated doesn't justify their actions towards you. I remember you as the guy who sits in a corner during family affairs and always being called by your siblings as a stubborn person who doesn't think twice about your actions. This is the picture that was painted for me growing up. I guess they failed to see that your actions speaks on how you want to live your life in the time you have left. And they should support your actions, even if they are not good for you they have no right to call you stupid or reckless because they are too concern of saving your life that they do not allow you to live it at all. You are old aged and like your siblings they too are irritating but to set you a part isn't fair.

That's why when I heard earlier today that you passed away I felt bad. I felt bad for a couple of reasons. First is the way you have been treated for the last few years of your life. Second is the way you have lived your life in those remaining times when you are being restricted. I saw you this year once when you came for a visit. I would like to talk to you and your wife but it made me realize that we don't know anything about each other and most likely you don't know who I am. I felt distant and was sad about my realizations.

So to my grandfather who just passed away. I hope that you are in a better place. I hope that you forgive yourself for being the kind of person you think you are because I see you differently. I am sorry for not being there at all for whatever reason I could think of. To my grandfather Bansoy, I hope and pray that you are in a better place.