Why do we settle for unlabeled relationships? The kind of arrangement wherein being intimate is a good thing without any attachment. Like hold hands or give hugs in the privacy of your own space or have sex when your parents are away then be as casual as friends as if nothing had happened minutes after. Is it even worth calling a relationship? Why do we give in to this shenanigan to begin with?
I believe that it is a power struggle and the question is being raised to the inferior ones – why stay?
A friend of mine was sharing his story about a girl he has been crazy about for years now. They do everything yet he still gets mixed signals when it comes to their status. At one point he even dared asked her blatantly, to his dismay he didn’t get the answer he deserves.
Fear of commitment – simple, precise, straight forward. A vast majority would agree that it’s about the continuous obligation of being with a partner. Relationships are hard work and never a monotone Disney series that ends happily. Most of us would like to play things safe and savor the moment as oppose making things messy. Or perhaps they are not ready due to some obligation with family, studies, etc. Regardless of their back story on how and why they are fearful of a relationship we have to look at the bigger picture in the perspective of my friend who is at the mercy of a girl who is in fear of commitment.
It’s much easier to hear that I don’t like you as oppose to being stringed to a series of what-ifs. We stay because of the notion that we can turn things around for us. She might not be as into you as now but with enough efforts things may turn around for you. Such notion is further fueled by glimpses of hope as they reciprocate on little doses on every single moment that we are with them – and these moments are enough to keep us addicted to this setup till we accomplish what we are set to do.
In reality she is not into you as you want her to be. She has issues of her own to deal with and she has you to give her that boost. She is transparent of her emotions yet you are too blind to see the truth. You give meaning to the things she already gave you answers making a futile pursuit to happiness.
You tell yourself that you’ll eventually stop as you know there’s nothing when in reality you are deep within a lie you have created; and when another man comes for her, you instantly point fingers as she was unjust for tagging you along when in fact you failed to listen.
There are a lot of people in the world – finding another is not easy, but it will be impossible to find anyone when you keep staring at a closed door.